"you can't go home again"

I am filled with memories of summers of long ago. I can close my eyes and remember awakening to the sound of lawnmowers and the smell of fresh cut grass. A "newsboy" would deliver Newsday and I would read Brenda Starr with more eager anticipation than a new episode of "The Sopranos." On warm days, I would ride my bike around a stream that was filled with tadpoles and return home to watch "American Bandstand" followed by "I Married Joan." Now, I awaken to the sound of a cell phone tower being installed on the roof of my building and I am excited to discover who was nominated for eviction from the "Big Brother" house. And I drive my car to Zabar's for the chopped liver. What a denouement!

the pines hotel, 1961

the catskills, 1963

This was taken as we entered the Imperial Room of the Concord Hotel to see the Connie Francis show. The night before, a first family photo was taken... and the photographer said I looked "drowsy-eyed." So to please me, we retook the picture and this time I made sure my eyes were wide open. This brings "bug-eyed" to a new level.

the infamous "drowsy-eyed" photo

the concord hotel, 1963

All the other adventurers on that cold snowy morning reached the top of the slope and put on their skis and flew down the hill. I decided to walk down. I took baby steps. I was not a risk taker.

from a sixth grade autograph book, 1958

These pages show my prolific parents on the pages they signed in my sixth grade graduation autograph book.

dear diary, 1958

I did not seem to have too great an attention span. There are only a few entries, and much of the blue "Ponytail" diary remains blank. I do remember how much I loved "American Bandstand." I can still recall the regulars: Arlene, Kenny, Justine, Bob... We did go one Saturday to The Dick Clark Show, which was telecast from NYC's Little Theater. We wore "IFIC" buttons to advertise that a chewing gum was "flavorific." I entered a contest to name a handpuppet that appeared on that show. I named the puppet: "Retsmar," after a cousin's cat. I won. I got to attend The Dick Clark Show again, especially exciting because Fabian was the guest and he sang "Like a Tiger." I was in heaven!

look what I found!

I found this story I wrote in 1956. It could be my Pulitzer!

"new york magazine" competitions

For many years, "New York Magazine" ran a series of writing competitions which always appeared on the last page. Readers were given a premise, and the entrants had to develop a one to three line piece or short paragraph to satisfy the description. I entered often and always hoped to win. I look back now, and although many of my "Honorable Mentions" now seem corny and dated, they still make me smile. Here are a few of my entries that won and were published in the magazine. I am going to retype as many as my lazy fingers this afternoon will allow.

" Results of Competiton 746, in which you were asked for Epitaphs."

HERE LIES MICHAEL OVITZ

Perpetual Care by I.M. Pei

"Results of Competition 749, in which you were asked for the opening sentence of a tell-all book."

Last night I dreamt I went to Brooklyn again, where the Brobdingnagian man who today holds court from a corner table at Spago was known simply as "little putz."

"Results of Competiton 816, in which you were asked for the opening lines of a badly written best-seller."

Desiree sat in Judge Paul Tyler's courtroom wearing Armani and a smirk. "So he denied me bail," she thought. "It wasn't so long ago that I was denied nothing." She caught a familiar whiff of Dolce and Gabbana and remembered the hazy evening on Royal Street in the Quarter. "The evidence will show..." droned the prosecutor.

"Results of Competition 862, in which you were asked to win the Eastern Division of the American league, or failing that, to provide a few aromatic lines from a Book About Hollywood."

"And the Oscar goes to... Marlene Bartlett for "Raining in New York." Dr. Lucas Braxton watched as Marlene, radiant, stepped up to the podium. Who would accept, he wondered... Darlene? Charlene? ... or Jim?

"Results of Competition 890, in which you were asked to invent a three-line, two person conversation."

A. I've been told I have no empathy.

B. Well, today my therapist diagnosed me with serious borderline personality disorder.

A. Who cares?

"Results of Competiton 905, in which you were asked for three versions of a random sentence."

The apparition danced before her eyes, then vanished into the dark mirror.

She glanced into the mirror and saw a man looking over her shoulder.

BOO

"Results of Competition 852, in which you were asked to describe creative playthings."

THE COMPETITION EDITOR DOLL-- when it winds up, it says, "Hoping you the same."

That last entry paid homage to the editor of the competitions, Mary Ann Madden. She always ended her Competition report with that sign-off. Some readers complained that the same group of writers won every week, but new names popped up frequently and joined the club.

OK, my fingers need to be bathed in epsom salts.

this old house

I love these photos from 1960 and 1961. They both show in the background a very old house that was torn down shortly thereafter. The first is a photo where I am pledging for Theta Sigma Delta Hi-Y, which is similar to a sorority. The second photo shows me standing on our patio. I love old photos because they are really a glimpse into the past and are the closest experience we have to time travel.

shopping uptown

My parents shopped uptown for the bridal registry dinnerware.

a lofty stroll

best toy ever

It was December 26, 1947 and NY was being bombarded with snow from a terrible relentless blizzard. And, it was on this same night that my father had promised to bring home the Mickey and Minnie Mouse dolls I had seen in a toy store. My mother was getting worried because my father was late coming home and she told me not to expect him to be able to go to get the dolls in such terrible weather. Well, darkness fell and still no sight of my father. As I was about to go to sleep for the night, in walked my father covered in huge amounts of snow. And he was holding the precious Minnie and Mickey Mouse dolls for which I had been frantically waiting all day. I still can hear my mother saying as he walked through the door: "In this weather you went to get the dolls? You're crazy." So what's wrong with crazy?

see-saw, marjorie daw

I seem to be trying to make a decision. Whatever choices I have made, there are no do-overs now.

true love

My parents seemed to be happily married.

the true story

But, this photo proves what I always knew! My mother really hated my father and when nobody was looking, she tried to kill him!

lost, but found

It was always something at the Columbia Silver Company.

I found some silver collectors discussing (at an internet message forum) my father's long gone business. I am one of the daughters of one of the brothers who owned Columbia Silver Company. The silver company was located in Brooklyn on McDonald Avenue. It went completely out of business in the 70s. No records remain. By 1994, all the three brothers had passed away. A photo of the three brothers, from 1916, can be found at this blog in the family photo of the side from Minsk.

from the 30s

This is my mother at graduation and my father in formal wear.

when the leaves began to fall

We moved to Long Island in 1952, and when autumn arrived the chilly weather turned the days grey and the views were bleak. These photos show a cold rain and empty vistas. The neighborhood seemed covered in a despondency that was trapped in an endless maze of mirrors.

Who Do You Think You Are?

Ruby Lazarus, waiting to testify during the Grand Jury gambling investigation.


Photo by Frank Scherschel, Time Life Pictures: Getty Images

I always knew that Ruby Lazarus was my father's first cousin. My grandmother was the sister of Ruby's father.

Ruby Lazarus

more about Ruby Lazarus

paternal great-grandmother, goldie

This is my great-grandmother Goldie, from Minsk, who raised my (grandfather) Max who married Bessie.

paternal great-grandfather, abraham

He was a silversmith from Minsk.

this side from minsk

circa 1916?

maternal grandfather

This is my grandfather Morris, taken in about 1936... in Lakewood, NJ.

maternal grandmother

This is my grandmother Lena, from Vilna, who made the best potato latkes in the world.

this side from vilna

circa 1890?

On an old maroon table in my grandmother’s house sat an incandescent pink seashell. I would hold it to my ear and hear the far-away sounds of the ocean. In the foyer, the steady whir and flutter of the slats on off-white Venetian blinds made me sleepy... as chill winds passed through the most haunted and haunting of places: Brooklyn.

"the atomic flyer"

We were almost numb on "The Atomic Flyer" at Coney Island.

amusement park photo

And when the two children find the photo years later, they play with lipstick and rouge.

let's all play

"Scribble That Face." We had no Nintendo, Game Boy, Grand Theft Auto, internet, or cable TV. We had only channels 2, 4, 5, 7, 9, 11 and 13. We were bored. So, we invented activities. This is a photo that clearly shows what fun we had playing a favorite game called: "Scribble That Face."

a swim, a pony ride, and pulling a hitcher

All of these three photos show different kinds of rides. Sometimes we swim dangerously alone and in three inches of water wear a tube. Sometimes we take rides and let a stronger person lead the way. And sometimes we give a ride to a friend who needs a lift. Wherever the ride takes me, at the end of the day memories beckon from behind stained glass windows and I am like a naked amnesiac who struggles to reach some intoxicating elixir of home.