to the bellibone

When I was a teenager, I thought I was gorgeous. I had many photographs taken and submitted the pictures to modeling agencies. I created the name "Dorian Fay" and hoped I would snag a contract and appear on the pages of top fashion magazines. I was rejected all over the place. I was convinced the hacks at these agencies had detached retinas. I was not happy with having modeling agents, who were total strangers, evaluate my beauty and summarily reject my face. Honestly, I really did not need or even want their approval. I thought the whole process of sending portfolios and waiting for validation and getting loads of rejections was demeaning.